In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from all employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of:
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle.
Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. will have to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in training others. We refer your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
S.H.I.T.
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from all employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of:
Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T.)
We are trying to give all employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T., please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. that you can handle.
Employees who don't take S.H.I.T. will be placed on the Departmental Employee Evaluation Program (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. will have to attend Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T.S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to take S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in training others. We refer your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for a promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).
If you have any further questions, please direct them to our Head of Training (H.O.T.S.H.I.T.).
Thank You,
Boss in General (B.I.G.S.H.I.T.)